a joke

My life is comedic. I've been joking with a friend that I should write an autobiography of my life. But... not... really. Between my breakup, my internship at a large company in a very, very small town, unemployment, living at home and being single I've acquired quite a few entertaining stories over the last few months. At least I can laugh at myself, I've got that going for me. Ha!  If you're on Twitter, you shouldn't follow me. Yeah, you read that right. My friends and I got a little carried away tweeting our nights away in Tuscaloosa's finest establishments, during our last semester. Are you reading between the lines? But my latest #singlegirlproblem tweets are about as hilarious as they can get! Like, just this week: my mother tried setting me up with a police detective. My co-workers have an ongoing joke that the young, MIS (computer) guy only comes to our office to check me out. So I've heard I've got pull with him. Then again, It's not true. Really, it's not. And I ran into a guy whose kids I babysat when I was in high school... at Subway... on my lunch break. Talk about random. And he said in his Southern, lawyer accent: "Weren't you all in love?" My response, "Haha, yes. We broke up after I finished college." And then he said, "What happened to that? Next time, bring the guy over. We'll get the kids to meet him for approval." Umm. What do you say to that? But I've learned that other people are just as lost as I am right now. 

I'm not an expert on relationships or how to deal with life, even though people still call me requesting advice. I'm still chewing on that. I mean, I've lived a lot of life. I've dealt with mourning several deaths of those close to me. I've loved hard, because that's just how I was made, in just my short 22 years. But I still feel like I know nothing.

Way back when, I had life ALL figured out. I thought I knew it all and I was under the impression that it all would work out the way I'd planned it. I'd have a job, the man of my dreams, a diamond on my hand and the world at my heels. I suppose the only thing I've got is the world at my heels. Now that I'm older, I know how little I'm actually in control. I was a little... okay... a lot more brave! I knew what I believed in, without question. Now, I'd be scared to tell you what I'm having for lunch tomorrow because it's most certainly not what I'm actually going to eat. Life's funny. Things happen and you think to yourself, "Where did THAT come from? Why here? Why now?" And it throws you off. But it also makes life a little exciting. I'm learning to just roll with the punches as they come.

 

And really, what more can I do? I think I'd much rather spend my days laughing. I'd much rather take it all in stride. I'd much rather joke and laugh, than get upset about how I should delete my ex's number if I butt-dialed him one more time, except I dont think he found that very funny. I mean... come on... it's not like I don't know it by heart :) I'd rather laugh at all this confusion. Sometimes it's really hard to look at the good. Lately, it's been nearly impossible. But not quite! I'd rather enjoy this time for what it is, rather than what it could be if my life was any different. I'm here to tell you, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I'm here to tell you that I've learned not to make decisions, without considering what you've got right here, right now. I've learned that you often have to put aside what you want and do what's best. For me, it's the comfort of being with my parents when my whole life feels turned upside down. It's laughing at something funny Flip Flop does. It's catching up with my friends. It's planning a New Years trip with my best girls. It's text messages from funny, entertaining friends. It's learning what I really want, what makes me happy and finding my passions in the workplace. So, this is me saying that I'd rather find the humor in it all. I'd rather laugh! I'd rather make a joke out of whatever's going on, than not enjoy my life. So what? So what if I don't have a salaried job right now? So what if this isn't what I had planned? So what if I'm living at home? So what? It doesn't make me any less "Leigh" than if I were to have it all figured out. Like I've said time and time again, I'd just have something else not figured out. It may take me some time. It may take being the brunt of one of my own jokes. Eventually, I'm going to have to get my "it" together. But I have my whole life full of responsibilities, trials, difficulties and duties to fulfill. For now, I'll just focus on living life. I'll focus on my friendships. I'll keep job searching and I'll just enjoy each day, whatever that day happens to bring. And I'll laugh. I'll laugh about how little I'm in control of it all. Because really, thinking I am is the biggest joke of all : )

"Success: To laugh often and love much." - Ralph Waldo Emerson