When you don't know what to do

Two weeks ago to the day, life for me turned upside down and inside out. Plans were cancelled. Life screeched to a halt. For a few days, I felt that life was in a stalemate. For two days, I just stayed with some of my friends in my friends Courtney and Kate's apartment because it was the only place within our group of friends with power. There were times I was comforted by being there with my friends. And there were times when I was scared-- we were all scared. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what to do. So, I left Ttown on that Friday morning. I bawled the entire 55 miles to Birmingham. Because-- well, there were a lot of reasons. I was heartbroken. I was taking detours to even get to the interstate. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was scared of looters. I was scared to stay. But I was scared to leave, too. Once I got to Birmingham, I realized almost immediately that I'd left my heart right there in Ttown! That Friday afternoon I sent an email out for an internship opportunity and that afternoon I had an interview set up. I returned to my hometown on Sunday. On Monday afternoon, I showed up to the interview and before I left the office I had a paid summer internship! Exciting and nerveracking. I was excited to have an immediate plan for life, but my heart was left aching for MY TOWN. The following day I left for Tuscaloosa to help with the relief efforts and spend time with friends. This past Friday I went to Birmingham for a fraternity formal and returned home on Saturday. On Monday, I started my internship.

Life's funny, you know? Just when you believe it's going to slow down. Just when you think it's going to be one way. Just when you have set plans. Life's messy and tragic and beautiful all mixed into one. I'm unbelievably blessed to be unscathed by what happened two weeks ago today. My closest friends are okay. My belongings are okay. I am okay. But let me tell you, I hurt for those who are hurting! My selfishness begs for another chance to keep the plans I made. And you know what God does when you make your own plans, He laughs. But I hurt for those who are left with nothing of their own. Without homes, without pictures of their memories and without their favorite belongings. And I can't help but think: "How am I okay when many are not?" There have been many, many-- countless times over the last several months of my life when I didn't know what to do, so I just didn't. Or I did it all. I've been all over the place the last few weeks-- and really over the last few months. Literally and figuratively. This period of my life has been exciting, thrilling, challenging, fun, tough and most definitely stressful. Through it all, I've felt something constantly. And that's blessed. Blessed to have the opportunities I've been granted. Blessed to have my two most favorite parents. Blessed for the best friends a girl could ask for. Blessed that God is watching over me closely. I'm not out of the woods yet. The next months of my life are unknown-- much like everyone else's life. Lots of decisions, more job searching and establishing a life, a home and a career of my own. On a lighter note, I'm loving my internship. It's more like a job-- working 40+ hours a week! In three days I feel like I'm #22goingon35 And it's no joke! I commute to work.  I fall asleep around or before 10pm. I have few friends to hang out with. I wake up at 6am. I live with my parents. Pretty much, I'd like to start a neighborhood with my sorority sisters. Seriously. Goodnight.