For You

This post is inspired from See Preston Blog. Read his post first and you'll understand mine more clearly. His post titled: to my future wife, has made me feel a gamut of emotions. It's beautifully and carefully crafted. His words are articulate. He reminds me that the wants and deep desires he has (I have... and maybe you have) are only possibilities - examples - they're NOT real like The Real Thing. They're not meant to be dwelled on. Why hasn't anyone told me that before now? I'm just glad he did.


You're strong and strong-willed. You’re loving, honest and kind to everyone you meet. I know this because I can't imagine marrying anyone different. And when I look at you, I hope you see how amazed I am that God wove you together. Just as you are.

And you get me. You see past the facade. You see my maturity and my playful child-like spirit. You love my wild side and my practical, grounded side. You understand that I was made to be a mama and a wife, but you also know that I'm called to be so, so much more! And I know that you were made to be a hardworking, focused man. But you've been called to be a husband and a daddy. You're also a mess, in a good way. I really love that about you. In our marriage, we stand side-by-side.

I love that you have plans, dreams and a sense of adventure. You take risks. Please take risks, as I could use a little more of those in my life. You're charismatic and it's my absolutely favorite thing about you! I love the way you joke with me about how it's "my place" to make you a sandwich, wash your clothes and do the dishes. But it's JUST A JOKE because you often cook dinner alone or by my side, spend precious time with the babies, clean the dishes and fold the laundry. Whether it's true or not, you view me as your better half. You're present. And you give the best you’ve got at that moment. Providing security for your family matters to you, but you would rather spend less time in the office and more time enjoying the life you've created. I can't imagine you any other way. But do you know what I love most about you? You want a life, a love and a family with me. You want the best that life has to offer, and you want those things with me. That's the most handsome thing about you!

You don't have it all figured out. You're not perfect and neither am I, but we balance each other out. You get that life's either a daring adventure or nothing at all, and you're certainly not the kind of man that wants nothing at all. You know life's not all black-and-white or even grey. You love adventure, vacations, boats, planes, cars and exploring. You love fishing, Alabama football and you dress like a Southern frat boy. {On a side note: Yeah, I said all that. To you, those things are stupid and insignificant. But for me, it's a serious question. Where's the line between believing in a real-life fairytale and complete bull?}

But more than anything, you continue to build a relationship with God your whole life. I don't know about your faith (not right now anyway) but I know you love Him more than you can ever love me. And I'm okay with that, it sounds perfect to me.

We continue to remind each other that the only way we can be the kind of parents we want to be, we must first love each other well. To tell you the truth, I want kids with you because I want them to learn from you - a man like you. I want them to have your sense of humor, your smile, and your mannerisms. I want them to carry little pieces of you.

Most weekends, when we're not traveling, we open our home to family, friends and friends that are more like family. When the friends have left and the dinner party is over, we close the door, look at each other and smile. You wrap your arms around me and I think to myself that there's no one else I'd rather build a home and a life with. Just maybe, you think the same thing too. And we'll turn on the music and clean up, together. Or we'll sit down on the couch and watch a movie, together - the dishes can wait. I love that our home is a reflection of us and the things we love. I look at pieces of furniture,  upholstery and knick-knacks and think about how opinionated you were while picking them out, or how you just left it up to me. I look at pictures of our college memories, pictures with friends, each other, vacations and our babies - how we got here - wherever we are, whatever we're doing. I look at all our wedding photographs hanging on the wall and I remember how adamant you were to have the most important things there: great food, an open/cash bar, a band and me. But you know me well enough to know, I'd already gotten all that covered.

Every day we laugh. You keep me laughing. I make you laugh too. I make you shake your head a lot, too, as you do me. It may not always be funny to the other, but we're good enough to laugh with each other. You listen to me and I listen to you. Because we're both stubborn and get carried away with day-to-day life, we often stop to remind each other to really listen. You hang on my words and I hang on yours. But we don't lose sight of our independence. We love each other for who we are, alone.

You have had some rough times. You've struggled in life, in love and in building a career. They've made you who you are. But I hope you've never struggled so much that you let anyone destroy that strong-willed spirit you have. I hope you're not too rough around the edges to share your heart and your dreams with one person, with me.

I'm apologizing to you right now, for the times when I say things that I don't mean or fail to say the things that I do. You figured that out a long time before you ever married me. And I remind you of that often. I apologize for many things in advance. But I promise to spend my life learning to respect you, as you learn how to love me better. You teach me every day that you can't be everything for me or me for you. You remind me and help me to view both sides of the story. Once, a boy taught me that and it's been one of the greatest lessons in my life. So, whoever you are, thank you for doing that too.

Hey! Remember those times you told me to shut-up, you gave me that half-smile that makes me melt and then you kissed me? I hold those times really, really close to my heart. I love being pursued by you. Love isn't always happy, easy or romantic. And really, I don't even like romance all that much. It's too corny and it often requires too much PDA for me.

I just know that a life together takes more than love. But I promise to love you. All of you. And by God's grace, He'll find a way for it to be enough for a whole life together.

I don't know who you are, where you are, what you're going through or what you're really like in real life. But what I'm learning through this phase in my life is that these things I write today, they're pale in comparison to the actual person you are. You may be completely different! These are just examples. They're not the real thing, like you. These are things I hope for, but I won't dwell on them. Because I've got faith that you're so much more.

I could meet you in a bar, a church, a mutual friend's house, at my next job, walking down the street or in a graduate school classroom. I may already know you. I may have already dated you. I could meet you next week, or in five years. But whenever that time comes, wherever you show up - I pray that we will just know.

Just so you know: Starting on this day and every day after, I'll be praying for you.