The reality of my to-do list, class assigments, exciting weekend plans and my commitments with campus ministry have brought me to two separate extremes. I feel blessed that my life is so rich, so full; however, overwhelmed because I feel run-down and exhausted. Since I'm not sure when life will calm down for me, I have added stress. Lovely, right? Also, I've only been sleeping as much as my head cold will allow. I want my mommy to nurse me back to health! Anyhow, I'm burning the candles as both ends. But God has called me to experience this and I will. As I sit in my little two bedroom apartment in this college town due to the falling SNOW in Alabama, I have allowed myself to a little bit of R + R {rest and relaxation} before I'm back at my full speed tomorrow morning. Example: I've been listening to Ben Rector and shaving lint from my Gap sweater with this handy-dandy item. Ever seen one of these before? Makes lots of my sweaters last longer! Give me a break, okay? I'm a broke college student, I seldom use drycleaners!
This week has taught me a lot:
1. Mucinex DM Maximum Strngth, Advil liquid gels and Vick's Vapor Rub Nasal Spray decongentant will not solve all the prblems of the world. And not all the problems of this sickness as qickly as I wish. But they help. A LOT.
2. I've got to learn how to say the word "Nnnn...." Nnn..." "NO!" because right now, I don't have it in me. It's not because I'm passive and I let people run over me, not usually anyway. It's because I'm my mother's child. I WANT to do these things. I LOVE a busy, hectic schedule. But it's just not always feasible for me to have so much on my plate.
3. It's time I begin to face one of my struggles head-on. Are you ready for this? Many times over the last four years, I have walked around the University of Alabama's campus in complete AWE that I have the opportunity to learn from these professors, experience this college life, be a part of something many are proud to experience. I have the MOST amazing parents, friends..... and boyfriend {Yes, the old one who broke my heart and is working so, unbelievably hard to put it back together.} I cannot express how thankful, amazed and blessed I am to have such loving, sacraficial, selfless parents who have devoted their live to working, our church and raising me so that I could LOVE this life. Friends who have my back, listen to my struggles and fears, laugh with me and encourage me to find endless JOY in the life.... they're such a source of my joy. Are you sure you're ready for this??? Here goes: I still find myself wanting more. I've struggled with expectations and the envy I often feel coincides. I'm working on it. I'm constantly reminding myself of how NOT to sweat the small stuff... how to be humbly proud of who I am, what I'm about and what I DO have. But since this mentality in ingrained in the fibers of my being, it takes time. It's something I have to push through and work through. I'm SO human. Aren't we all? Luckily, this God is a God of grace, compassion and understanding.
4. For soooo long, I've always believed I would want to find out what would happen in my future if someone could tell me. I would PLEAD to know who, where, when, why and how! During Bible study last night, we questioned how God feels when we "disappoint" him or choose a different path. I felt led to answer that I don't believe that precious Jesus who died on the cross many, many years ago FOR US AND FOR OUR TRANSGRESSIONS is ignorant toward our shortcomings. He KNEW and he sacrificed anyway. But me, on the other hand? Ha! I'm not soooo sure about that one. Tonight, my favorite blogger, Katie at Marriage Confessions revealed a concept that hit me like a ton of bricks! She wrote, "If we knew everything we were supposed to learn before an experience, what would the point of that experience be?" If I knew where I would end up after graduation before time, how would God teach me through that experience? Probably nothing because I wouldn't listen, work nearly as hard or learn the lessons He has in store for me. What if I knew who I would marry, when or if I would complete graduate school, where my first...second... third job will be, how many children I would have, what my marriage look like, how old my parents will live or all the vacation destinations I would experience in my life? What if? See, I feel that God is FAR more capable holding that information in His hands than myself. I'm sure of it. 100% positive that is best for me.
Blog Title courtesy of Ben Rector: The Sophomore
P.S. The Sophomores aren't the only one's who don't know, seniors don't know.
P.P.S I hope I never know. I {secretly} like learning as I go along.
P.P.P.S The pictures have nothing to do with the post, other than they make me happy!
P.P.P.P.S. Take me to Venice, pleaseeeeee!? With a cherry on top!!
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