I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most people who read my blog are 20-something. I'm not real sure who reads my blog regularly, exactly, and on the days that I really share pieces of my heart {get it?!} I'm not so sure I want to know. Totally normal, right? Not to say that I don't absolutely love emails and comments regarding my blog, because I do. I really, really do!
And there you have it, I just went off on a pointless tangent.
Anyway, here's my actual point. I love writing. But every time I get an email letting me know that the Forever Twenty Somethings blog has published a new post, if at all possible, I stop whatever I'm doing to at least skim it over. Why, you ask? Because some days I wonder if I should just stop writing and re-post their article{s} for the day. Every day.
It's pretty much my life in a nutshell, anyway.
It's almost ironic. My favorite teen show Boy Meets World, learning to let go after a breakup, job searching and the age-old question: why do I still live here? If anything, it goes to show that I'm normal when I really feel like I'm crazy, alone and going no where in life. Because that's how you feel when you move back home, work a full-time job without any full-time benefits/pay and have a grand whopping total of two good friends who happen to be in the same boat working and keeping busy who are not 'always available' like your college girl friends.
And like anyone in this phase of life, you say 'my life is a joke' to yourself and/or your college friends, oh, like a bazillion times a day. And you learn to laugh at yourself every time you do something irresponsible, like leaving your debit card at home when you go out of town. Or showing up somewhere late, again, even though you woke up really early just to make it on time. You wait for validation that it will get better, a little more 'figured out' and you'll receive a sliver of confirmation that you're needed and wanted. Because isn't that what we all want anyway? Wanted to be picked to attend that law school or graduate school, needed to complete a job that is rewarding and provides you with money so you don't have to live with your parents and can afford a few good drinks downtown at the bar with new grown-up friends whose alternate title in your life is NOT mom and dad. Sometimes you get that validation when there's a huge golf tournament to make happen, a new website launch to help coordinate and stack of "no we cannot support your cause" letters to be written, other times after you've been told someone else was offered the position you wanted, you wonder why you're here and not anywhere else but here! Other times, you just want a man to take you to dinner. Nothing fancy, just dinner and an interesting and fun conversation. Even if it's a chain restaurant, you'd compromise. If flirting is involved, that's okay, too. Learning "to be" a 20-something requires you to realize that "Mr. Right" has a lot wrong with him and, well, you're not-so-perfect either darlin'. Wait a minute, though. You really don't want those awkward dates. You just want to pick a random date, buy a semi-formal dress, meet your pledge class at one of your houses/apartments, take group pictures {to post on Facebook later, like on Sunday afternoon to avoid studying} and proceed to drink, dance and laugh the night away. But that's too much to ask for during your 20-something life, right? Right! Because now, your only excuse for this type of a night is a wedding. They're awesome, but I'm just not... even... going... there... because weddings mean one thing: marriage! Eek! You want to get married, but it still scares the living daylights out of you! There's always fun, wild vacations, too, but who's got time and extra money for those? You've learned in the short while after college that the stacks on your desk don't just magically disappear. If they do, it's not good, at all. You're in big trouble then.
There are good parts about being a 20-something. Sometimes they're blatant, most often their blurry. If I've learned anything, it's this: It gets better. Life after college, that is. Life after college will never be as good as life during college, just so we're clear. But life after college gets a heck-of-a-lot better than life just right out of college. It's a transition and those are always tricky because they involved time and patience, but you'll have none of that because you're trying to get somewhere before everyone you graduated college with gets there before you. It's just how it goes.
Being a 20-something also has a lot to do with letting go of how you imagined your life would be because nothing goes quite how you imagined it in your head. Nothing. At least, that's my experience so far.
Being a 20-something also means that you are beginning to create a life of your own. And if you're like me, that's what you've wanted all along. To make your own mark. To make your own money. To take what you love and make a living doing it. To help others. To eventually let someone into your life forever when the time's right and he's right. To make an apartment or a house into a home you love. To go on vacation. To start a family of your own. To succeed. To feel wanted, needed and important.
You eventually start trying to accept that you're only in control of so much, which is where I feel like I am right now. Whatever is supposed to happen, it will. Whatever "it" is will work out.
And whenever you stop fretting, the good will come. At least, I'm praying whatever it is will come and it will be good. Life will not be a fairy tale or a chick-flick you thought you wanted before. And you're learning that's not what you really want anyway. You just want to enjoy life and live it to its fullest.
Maybe I'm the only one?! Am I? Or am I not?
