chase them

I love my internship. But I hate it, too. I don't hate it because I'm underpaid for the work, stress and time I put into it! Nope. It's likely that'll happen with any and every ACTUAL job I ever have in my whole life. I really don't even hate my internship because it's in the middle of no-where Alabama. Okay, maybe a little. And I certainly don't hate it because of anything about the company or the work I am doing with the company. 

I hate my internship because I KNOW what I WANT to do! But I'm just not so sure how to get there. I want to go to work and KNOW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that I'm making a difference in the lives of people who need a difference in their life. That I'm in the midst of an intertwined community. A hospital. A community foundation. A chamber of commerce. A university. I want to I FEEL SOMETHING FIERCE FOR AND ABOUT THE WORK I'm doing. And without giving too much information, I don't care SQUAT about a 2x4 piece of lumber for outdoor decking. I just don't. Sorry I'm not sorry, y'all.

I AM LETTING GO of all these life expectations. And I don't know what the next year, two or 50 will hold. I don't know what age I'll marry, what trials I will face, how many children I will have or if I'll ever have a dog named Bo. {True story!} 


I think, more than anything, that's what life's been about for me lately: Learning what to let go of and what to hold onto. And I still haven't even really begun. It's trial and error. Apparently, I'm a slow learner. Someday, somehow I will find that things miraculously worked out for me. And I, alone, had very little to do with it! 

Just another lesson in this 20-somethings life. 
Now, back to figuring out what I want to do when I grow up...