And I didn't even know it.

I stumbled on Ally Spotts latest blog post this morning. At first, I thought she was trying to give me all these tips on how to be more confident. Maybe I'd learn how to be confident in my body, in making decisions or in ... I don't know... finding Mr. Right.

I was mistaken. Ally has other ideas about confidence:

It takes confidence to say, honestly, I’m really bad at that…

It takes confidence to accept a compliment where a compliment is due…

It takes confidence to admit an insecurity even when it makes you look weak…

Or admit a fault, even when it makes you look like an idiot…

It takes confidence to say, “I want to change. Can you help me?”

I've worked very hard to learn these things. They've happened over time. They are a product of my mistakes, being wrong and finally learning to accept compliments. It's admitting that I've struggled, and I need those around me to help me change. I have learned, that sometimes it's best just to say what you know, to be authentic.

It's WORTH IT, but it's not easy to say:

"Hey. Yeah, I know. I broke up with you, but I still care. Let's both be kind regardless."

OR

"Mama, I've been hiding all this stuff inside. It's been tearing me up. I need a fresh start."
OR

"Jessie, I'm feeling insecure and scared to walk into that CMO's office and ask for a job, or ask when the heck is this internship over? And what if I cry!!! That would be awful."

OR

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry your friend/parent/grandparent/sibling, etc. died..."


Yep, not easy. Admitting our pride can often feel a lot more like physical torture, myself included. I've learned it's best not to leave things unsaid or undone. When I'm not confident in some of my abilities, my body and my future. I can be confident in my words - in saying I'm messed up or I'm wrong.

Here I am. Do work in me. I'm ready to change and grow.