you just take your precious time.

on thursday nights, a group of my friends and i gather at a restaurant or on my parents deck. we talk and tell stories and laugh and drink beer or wine. sometimes we do all of the above. at times, the conversation is light and funny. other times we talk about the stuff that's on our hearts. how we're not in the places or doing the things we imagined before we found ourselves here. or we question and talk about what may be next for each of us.

we all come from various walks of life, but finding the similarities or just downright understanding regardless makes me content - i'm sure they feel it too. we each keep coming back for more every week. we remind each other of and hold each other accountable for different things. and we trust each other to bare our hearts. those friends keep me laughing. and they always remind me that i shouldn't take life so seriously. i'm starting to really believe it. i'm starting to really believe that life shouldn't be taken so seriously as i've been taking it. but to tell you the truth, i shouldn't be so nonchalant about life either.

i know i've got choices. i know there are coincidences. i get all that. but what i really get is that i'm in this place (literally and figuratively) for a reason. i am here for a reason. i'm here because this is where God's put me. that's it. and when i wonder if He's forgotten about me or when i question why me or when i'm impatient - those are the times i'm reminded that He's teaching me. just like my friends, He's teaching me about community. and true friendship. and paying attention to what you've got. and growth. and waiting. let me tell you, i'm being taught patience. but you know what i love most? the laughing. and the trusting. and trust me when i say it, they go hand-in-hand. 

several times this week i've wanted to pick up my phone and start fixing all the things in my life that i'd like to change. how? i don't know. but that was my plan. there've been times i've wanted to say something or ask a question or take some kind of action. and right then. in those moments, He's led me to wait. you may think that takes patience, but its all about trusting Him. it's about trusting that His plan is the dealbreaker. and knowing. realy knowing that He laughs at all of my plans. just tonight God taught me about laughter. about making the best out of life. often, life hands you something and you just have to say "okay life, this is what you're giving me. this is where God's leading me. lets do this" and it takes humor to do that. at this point, i just have to laugh and keep moving forward. because i don't know what He's doing. but i know that He's got a sense of humor. i can cry about it. about how i thought my 20-something life post-graduate would be different. i think i'll laugh and enjoy the ride.