When you are young

“When you are young, and by young I mean the sum of your years is under {twenty-five}, your whole life is still in front of you.

Unjaundiced eyes are sunlit and wide, your lungs rise and fall with the breathless optimism. Whom will you marry? Whom will you become?

Will you be blessed with good children, live in China, climb Everest, visit the Casbah, sail the Amazon? Will the riches of the world find their way to your door?

The details of your future life are still shrouded in the opaque mists of time’s crystal ball

and you, the anxious and impetuous young you, hopping one foot to the other,

cannot wait to get there.”

- from a Lowcountry Summer: A Plantation Novel, Dorothea Benton Frank

F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote,

"That is part of the beauty of literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong."

This post-graduate {Who am I? And what the hell am I doing with my life?} season has been course-altering. Each day I become increasingly aware that God is doing work in my heart that couldn't be done, if I wasn't in this exact place. So, here I am. Here I'll be.

Just this morning at church I ran into someone who said,

"Just keep looking for open doors..."

And just tonight I ran across these words,

"If you're dreaming, keep on. If you are confused, you are not alone."

Words are always powerful. If anything, I'm learning to consider mine more carefully and treasure others more closely...

I want to trust Him gracefully. That's not my style though, y'all, I confess:
I question and I cry a lot. I run, I hide and I fear. I'm a control-freak. I don't trust His plan, so my own expectations leave me feeling frustrated and discontent. "What I want is what I've not got / What I need is all around me"